There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
When Chuck Norris does pushups, the earth moves.Â
In our media fitness competition on May 10th, we’ll be asked to do as many pushups (the male version) as we can in one minute. I can do about two. That’s two more than I could do last week. Not exactly Demi Moore in G.I. Jane.  Go see how many you can do and tell us. Onward!Â
March 15th, 2008 at 8:36 am
Walker Texas Ranger is the worst program in television history. I saw one episode and couldn’t move……..yes, I was paralyzed………for two hours after it was over.
March 15th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I agree with rt. And will add, Chuck Norris should not be allowed to roam the planet. All he does is breathe the air that others need. As far as push-ups go, I am going to have to play the surgery card…still can’t do those. How ever I do tumbler curls almost everyday. rt, those count, right?
March 15th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Yes, he’s an oxygen thief.
March 15th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
March 15th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t pushing himself up….he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris does not wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. He bites frost.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris does not breathe. He holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it, too.
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a loaded gun….and he WON.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris actually understands the ending to “2001: A Space Odyssey”.
Chuck Norris CAN,in fact, stop the music.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris built Mt. Everest with a bucket and a shovel.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the ONLY hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
March 15th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I actually don’t have anything against Chuck Norris. It’s “Walker Texas Ranger” that torments my soul.
March 15th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card!
March 16th, 2008 at 9:43 am
Welcome cirtna T. Thanks for the Guy Clark clip under “Runnin’ on Empty”.
I know these have been around a while, but they’re a never-ending source of entertainment for me! Here’s another:
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
March 17th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Lou Ferigno rocks Chuck Norris!
March 17th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I heard Chuck Norris won a game of Connect Four in three moves.
March 18th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Does he have an infomercial with Christy Brinkley?
March 19th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Why are you not leaving your computer, doing pushups and reporting back to the rest of us about how many you can do? Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn’t have to stay on topic!