The Blog Diet
What are you doing to me?Â
I’m in training. I’m trying to eat healthy, yet am way too easily swayed by commenters’ suggestions on how to run my life. First, Tommy suggests I eat a cheeseburger as part of my fitness regime. Try getting that out of your mind. The first picture is proof of my order.
The second picture is my son, on the cover of the Natchitoches Meat Pie box in the freezer section of your grocery store. Someone else took that bite out of that meat pie for him because he and I were vegetarians at the time.
Until….Â
…then KTBS producer (current commenter) Colleen Spillane and I were working one of those Earthlink satellite tours, where we report from the road. Jim Lee, the sat truck driver, is known worldwide for his ability to sense the best places to eat in any given town. So, we find ourselves in this dive with unbelievable smelling BBQ. And there’s Colleen, “C’mon, Sherri, it’s not going to kill ya to take a bite!” Â
Colleen could make Hazel and Jimmy eat steak. And they don’t even have teeth.
 Â
March 19th, 2008 at 11:59 am
ummmm………delicious cheesburger…..health food !!
whole wheat bun : fiber for regularity, b vitamins, wheat gluten makes for shiny hair.
beef: essential animal proteins for building muscle, iron for that cronic female anemia thing. girlie hormones put into there feed help get rid of that annoying “runners moustache” yeah its got fat….get over it…you need some fat in your diet.
cheese: more protein and calcium so you dont get that old lady hump-back look. calcium also helps the iron metabolize for assisting the cell walls absorb oxygen faster.
tomato: vitamin c and rich in anti-oxidents
pickle: vitamin A, but tends to run very salty
mayo, catsup, mustard : again salty but you need salt to maintain viscosity level of blood for optimum presperation for body core cooling.
and now you know !
“im not a doctor but i’ll be glad to take a look!”
March 19th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Tommy is right. Meat is good for you. But don’t eat fast food, cook your own and skip the mayo. I love beef and chicken, but my favorite high protein food is raw fish, sashimi style. Get some soy sauce and wasabi, a chunk of tuna and a chunk of salmon….there is no better diet food.
March 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I like to eat raw chicken. Don’t let let liberal media fool you with their scare tactics about salmonella. They just don’t want you to lose weight because they are controlled by the pharmaceutical companies that make the diet pills.
March 19th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Sherri, Hazel, Jimmy, and Patch all say…”How dare you turn your nose up to fattening food…that will ultimately kill you when all we’re fed is stinkn’ rotten carrots and card board!!!” Pooh to you!!!
March 19th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I drink a glass of bacon grease every night before bed.
Do you think that could be contributing to my chest pains?
March 19th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I want my mommy.
March 19th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
I have two boxes of those Natchitoches Meat Pies in my freezer. Do you think you could get him to autograph one for me. I was going to get Jacob Hester’s autograph this weekend at Tiger Island, but I don’t have 25 bucks!
March 19th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
theD1: I’m sure Casey would love that. He might want your autograph, too!
March 19th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
That reminds me about when Casey was asked to be on the cover of the meat pie box. He said, “There’s no way I’m modeling for the cover of a meat pie box!” His father told him he would get paid, to which Casey replied, “I can’t wait to model for the cover of a meat pie box!”
March 19th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Sheri, I feel your pain! We’ve been trying to get on our “lighter side” the last 3 weeks on the morning show. Yesterday, someone came in and made strawberry pie with whipped cream (it ‘was’ a lite version!) but then we topped it off with Blue Bell ice cream. Mama help me! Later on, I found myself making a return trip to the freezer for more. THEN I went home and had chocolate chip cookies. Why is it when you tell yourself you’re going to be good and watch what you eat that’s when you want everything that’s bad?
March 19th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I agree Sonja! I think it’s because you know you can’t have it! I did the same thing today. Went to the store to buy my nephew an Easter basket. I walked out of the store with a big bag of Reese’s and a chocolate bunny for myself!!!!!
I just keep telling myself you only live once!
March 19th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
“you only live once”, so why not indulge in some heroine from time to time. I hear it a real good buzz.
Sugar is the bigest enemy because it gives you that huge insilin spike. Other than that, it really boils down to calories in, calories out.
March 19th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Oh my goodness can you get me an autograph. I by those meatpies all the time. I better not ever see your son I might fall out. I’m still tripping on that.
March 19th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Eat Less
March 19th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Sonja/Chrissi: I’ve been trying to figure that can’t have it/want it thing for years. Plz tell me when you get some answers.
HRB: Yep. Sugar bad.
Ann: My son has very long hair (he might cut it for a play) and facial hair. He’s 19 now. You might not recognize him.
March 19th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Oh, and CT and rt: LMAO! But Tommy, too much justification for me to live beyond the next two years!
March 19th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
OMG, I’m tripple dipping. What about Colleen’s Ritz-peanut butter chocolate things she brings around every Christmas and tries to kill us with?
BTW: It’s okay to end a sentence with a preposition when you’re about to die.
March 19th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Coincidentally I have not eaten ANY junk all week either, so I can relate. So far so good, but I have no temptation around me since Heather is eating healthy too and she does the grocery shopping. I did indulge in some heroin but I mixed it with Splenda.
March 19th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
CT: Ever tried crack sprouts?
March 19th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
theD1: Casey charges $20 for autographs.
March 19th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
burn marks from the grill laced across a 100% beef patty. tiny droplets of sizzling fat around the edges. a huge whitebread bun studded on top with sesame seeds. drop the bun on the grill to toast and absorb some tasty meat juices smoking there. slather the toasty bun with real hellmans mayonaise, a squirt of mustard and prepare for the meat. lettuce, red ripe tomato, green crisp dill pickles. shake a half teaspoon of salt on top. place the burger patty on the bun and drop on a slice of real sharp chedder cheese. clasp the burger in both hands and hold it away from your body as you move it toward your mouth….its going to drip juice when you bite into it. move it to your head and gape your mouth open as the burger touches your lips. the first bite. flavors explode ! four chews and swallow. reach for a 5inch long french fry. fresh cooked in animal fat its crisp outside , and soft and crumbly inside. rake it thru a huge blob of heinz catsup and poke it into your mouth before the hamburger flavor escapes.
a quick sip of ice tea with plenty of sugar and lemon…….george thorogood is playing ‘bad to the bone’
message arrives that says that your ex-wife has been mauled by wild dogs……….that friends, is a fine summer day!
March 19th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
How I wish there were an award for the perfect comment! Hmmmm…a nomination?
March 19th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
rt,
Twenty bucks I got! I could probably get the other five from under my sofa cushions, but I’d rather have Casey’s autograph than Hester’s anyway…
March 19th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Have you ever heard the boy rap? He’s got a dynamite sound! But frankly…I think he could use a little more cowbell!
And once he really explores the studio space…he’ll be wearing gold diapers!
March 19th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Speaking of great food in the Arklatex: The Otto’s on Airline and East Texas serves up the very same NMP’s that made Casey so vastly famous! And they fry them in Crisco.
It just doesn’t get any better than that! rt, have a couple of those with your cup of bacon grease, just before bedtime! You’ll think you died and went to heaven!
March 19th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
They’re really better if they’ve been under that heat lamp for a few hours after frying! Man, I know where I’m going for lunch tomorrow…
March 19th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Crazy Monday
March 19th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Free baseing heroin with splemda is very health conscience move.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Sherri,
You can end with a preposition. I just wouldn’t recommend dangling your participles.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
I need to write this down. This is good stuff.
drink bacon grease
triple-dip Ritz-peanut butter chocolate dipped things
crack sprouts
meat pies that have been sitting under heat lamps for hours
and free base a heroin/splenda mix
Give me 2 months and I am gonna look svelt, baby!
March 19th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
big bag a popcorn extra salt extra-extra butter…and willsmith zombie movie gettin it done to-nite…although i may go raid the fridge late for a slab of that left-over roast between some white bread big glass of ice cold milk hold the heroin!
March 19th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
hazel and jimmy have false teeth made of wood
March 20th, 2008 at 9:26 am
jchristie, I just purchased all of these ingredients for Easter dinner. Of course, Albertson’s was out of heroin and crack sprouts again! When are they going to get a produce section you can depend on!
Lou, now you’re creeping into the midnight snack category!
March 20th, 2008 at 10:16 am
I agree, Sherri. It’s so hard to find a place that keeps a supply of good, fresh heroin in stock.
Have you tried canned heroin? Not quite as good, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices.
March 20th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Hey, I just lernt how to copy and paste. Check this out:
Sherri Says:
March 19th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Crazy Monday
OK, so what day is it anyway?
March 20th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Sherri, regarding “The Perfect Post Award”…Tommy had me at “burn marks from the grill”. Then, he ended it in such sweet fashion, it darn near brought a tear to my eye. I say go ahead and give him the trophy now!
But whatever shall we call it? The Academy Awards has their “Oscars”. ESPN has the “Espy’s”. Broadway has its “Tony’s”. Certainly this motley crew can come up with something (besides the “Talleys”…how less-than-creative would THAT be?)
March 20th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Of course you’d have to have:
Performance by Blogger in a Leading Role
Performance by Blogger in a Supporting Role
Achievement in Short Blog Posts
Best Documentary Blog
Achievement in Makeup (wait…never mind…bloggers have radio faces)
and of course, Best Blog Post of the Year
Tommy is definitely a front-runner…
March 20th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
theD1, nice try, but you’re supposed to click on “Crazy Monday”. It’s a reference to your rap comment. Now, go to your room, but first keep working on the award name. That’s a good idea!
March 21st, 2008 at 2:18 am
OK Ladies Chrissi, Sherri, Sonja I think what ever it is you beautifull ladies are doing it is working. There is nothing wrong with the way any of you look.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:19 am
In case knowbody noticed I put the names in ABC order not to show favorites.
March 21st, 2008 at 6:58 am
Well, that was random, T-Bone. Thank you. And the next time you start dishing out group compliments, I’d like to be first.
March 21st, 2008 at 7:31 am
Ahhh T-Bone!! You’re my favorite!
Did you do something wrong.. why are you being so nice!! Jk!!!!
March 21st, 2008 at 7:46 am
But T-Bone, if you rank us alphabetically by ‘last’ name, I would get to be first … unless Sherri wants to go back to Allen!
March 21st, 2008 at 8:09 am
I just changed my last name again. It’s now Aaabbc. That is, if we’re ranking alphabetically by last name.
March 21st, 2008 at 8:45 am
Sher,
Be careful with the Assbbc - oops (wrong keys) - Aaabbc - think there is a “Escort Agency” with same name!!
March 21st, 2008 at 9:50 am
Good advice, George. Once on this site, George made up the name of a guy and said I was dating him. There really is a guy by that name and he contacted me at work and said he and his wife didn’t think that was very funny! Our bad.
March 21st, 2008 at 11:27 am
For some reason, I’m unable to post on the “bunny-cam” site. Sherri’s food/menu/diet blog seems like a good place to request that one of you post a few of my favorite recipes, that are only appropriate, as we enter this festive Easter season. (I was thinking about asking Pamela to post them for me, but that’s probably a real bad idea.) Anyway, here they are:
http://allrecipes.com/Search/Recipes.aspx?WithTerm=braised+rabbit
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Rabbit-with-Tarragon-Sauce/Detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Beer-Basted-Rabbit/Detail.aspx
March 21st, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Sherri,
Bruce Dickinson…yes, THE Bruce Dickinson, just told me that he posted on your blog yesterday, but his posts were “awaiting moderation” whatever that means (maybe t.heaton or b.p. could explain it to us). Then he awoke this morning only to find that awaiting moderation really meant awaiting censorship. Now I’ll agree that censorship is as American as apple pie, but his posts were not offensive in any way. (I’m just saying…)
March 21st, 2008 at 12:48 pm
OK…I’m sitting here on my day off posting comments on the sherr-talley-dot-com-diet-blog-post-thingy, and watching the Food Network (Soaps are on KTBS…I’m not a fan). And, as God is my witness, I just saw Paula Deen make Fried, Bacon-Wrapped Macaroni and Cheese! With my insatiable appetite for, and willingness to try just about anything, I of course googled the recipe. Sure enough there it was, on a website called paula-deen-is-trying-to-kill-us-dot-com!
http://www.seriouseats.com/required_eating/2007/08/paula-deen-is-trying-to-kill-us-with-bacon-wrapped-fried-mac-and-cheese.html
March 21st, 2008 at 1:02 pm
try the specialty food stores, maybe they have crack rout?
you know the food from other countries
March 21st, 2008 at 1:02 pm
By the way, how many of you knew that “I googled it” is gramatically correct?
That’s right, the 2008 Webster’s Dictionary lists google as a verb:
google
Pronunciation: \?gü-g?l\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): goo·gled; goo·gling \-g(?-)li?\
google (GOO.gul) v. To search for information on the Web, particularly by using the Google search engine.
March 21st, 2008 at 1:03 pm
By the way, how many of you knew that “I googled it” is gramatically correct?
That’s right, the 2008 Webster’s Dictionary lists google as a verb:
google
Pronunciation: \?gü-g?l\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): goo·gled; goo·gling \-g(?-)li?\
google (GOO.gul) v. To search for information on the Web, particularly by using the Google search engine.
March 21st, 2008 at 1:04 pm
By the way, how many of you knew that “I googled it” is gramatically correct?
That’s right, the 2008 Webster’s Dictionary lists google as a verb:
google (GOO.gul) v. To search for information on the Web, particularly by using the Google search engine.
March 21st, 2008 at 1:16 pm
OK, things are getting really wierd now. First sherri-talley-dot-com is censoring THE Bruce Dickinson’s comments, now posting mine in triplicate? I’m going to www.chessmaniac.com
I’ve got 29 chess games going on right now. If any of you would like to make it an even 30, you can join for free.
My player name is “mandolindave”. Don’t let my record of 1233 wins/105 losses and 24 draws scare you. I’m really not that good. (chuckle, chuckle, snicker,snicker)
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:42 am
Jimmy Three Times
March 24th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Hello all after a long Easter weekend I am catching up on SAL’s blog…and SAL, I thought you were a veggie-tear-i-un until you went to some family reunion and some auntie did a pot roast that had your name all over it! After that first bite, it was easy. I do remember snacking on pesticide covered apples around you while you were going organic and saying, “Yummy look at my big juicy pesticide genetically modified apple. Sooo Gooodd.” Funny how it all comes back to haunt!
March 24th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
You’re right, CWA! It was Aunt Judy’s pork roast! Then, your taunting. How quickly we forget.
To the others: CWA was Colleen’s computer code at KTBS when she worked there. Mine was SAL. We just got used to calling each other that.
I was a bit much on the organic side back then. CWA, you might be amused to learn that I recently gasped in horror as a friend filled up his glass at the tap! Then, I followed that with a lesson on how not to heat up frozen dinners in the plastic containers. Toxins!
March 25th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
What is sad to me is how I have become the very thing I used to mock! Now I know how the hippies feel!
March 27th, 2008 at 4:12 am
whats wrong with tap water…..i thought it was lemons that was the problem?