“Throw another blanket on the fire.”
Everyone’s talking about lessons learned from Gustav response. With that, who can help but think back on lessons learned from life itself? What have you learned from experience? Here are some actual lessons I’ve learned.
–Even if you’re really good at multi-tasking, the few seconds you have while stopped at a red light might not be best spent conducting a self breast exam.  And if you do try this in your car, make sure your hair is out of your eyes so you can see if there’s a car pulled up beside you.
–When you run out of deodorant, DO NOT use your son’s cologne-scented deodorant after you shave.
–If you’re going to use a cliche when on TV, use it correctly.  Don’t get it mixed up with another cliche. Advising the ArkLaTex to throw another blanket on the fire is downright irresponsible.
–Be careful when telling your father you’re going to the Final Four. Make sure you don’t call it a ”Foreplay Tournament”.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Also, don’t use Cortizone to brush your teeth.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:47 am
I wish that everybody could buy a blue tooth wireless device, maybe that’ll stop all of the idiots who have nearly hit pay attention to the road. Otherwise, driver’s insurance rates will go up, because of all of the accidents.
September 4th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Always be sure not to mistake the word for an STD with a plant. “Oh, you should see my clamidia. It is blooming such a pretty red right now!” Try again, caladium.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
trust me on this……..you don’t ever want to say your first wifes name while making love to the 2nd wife…
September 4th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
What’s wrong with a foreplay tournament?
September 4th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
A foreplay tournament huh. If my wife is playing, she will demand the usage of instant replay!!!
September 4th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
This is for the men out there: NO matter how well it works on poison ivy, NEVER, and I mean NEVER tell the clerk that the Monistat 7 cream is for you.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
it really works on poison ivy???
September 4th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
As a young child I found a package of Ex-Lax and thought it was a chocolate bar.
Yes, there were extreme difficulties a few hours later.
September 4th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Haaaa..these are funny!
September 4th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
George Sirven once told me “you can be the hero or you can be the bitch.” This has served me well on numerous occassions. No matter how badly you want to be the bitch, the hero angle always works out better.