H&J’s Little Sister Kidnapped!
Talley Talker “Turtle” sent me a little sister for Hazel and Jimmy. Thanks, Turtle. I named her Eileen, because…well…look at her. She leans.
Someone brought a 4-year-old girl into the newsroom. I know, I know. Anyway, the little girl went straight for Eileen. What? It’s not like I could snatch Eileen out of her cute little hands and say, “Do you know who this is!” The child will already have to undergo years of counseling after being exposed to a news environment at such a young age.
Of course, I could submit a description of the 4-year-old baby snatcher to police and we could put her tiny mugshot on the news.






April 25th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I hate baby snatchers!!!! Maybe we should offer a reward for her safe return.. I’m not sure how much we should ask though.. maybe a “doll”ar or two?
April 25th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Sounds like we need an Amber Alert.
April 25th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
I offer 1 million doll-hairs.
April 26th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Her eyes are pretty crazy. I say you just let her go.
April 26th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
New at 10. If anyone has seen Eileen please contact Sherri Talley. If not H&J will sick the Lizards on you
April 26th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
I spotted her. She wasn’t kidnapped. She’s a runaway. She’s hanging out in Chinatown and has changed her name.
She now goes by Irene.
April 27th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
What’s the latest with Eileen? Have the kidnappers sent a ransom note?