Shreveport, LA (STNews) - PETA is protesting the alarming numbers of fish being plucked from local waters by tiny bare hands, then choked and eaten, starting with the fins. 

One woman was seen wearing nothing but a sandwich board that read, “Stop the senseless strangulation of fish!” 

Wildlife and Fish authorities observed the kids are apparently skipping out on the cleaning and cooking process altogether.  One health official suggested that with all the health warnings lately, children aren’t getting near the levels of mercury in their system they once got, creating massive cravings for the fish and accounting for the unusual method of reelin’ ‘em in.

Did something inside you believe it to be true?  Were you hoping it were true?  Are you annoyed by someone’s attempt to dupe you, apparently for profit? 

The news today is that what two researchers say they found and claimed to be the body of Bigfoot was slowly thawed out and discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit.   

According to the Associated Press, Matt Whitton, an officer who has been on medical leave from the Clayton County Police Department, and Rick Dyer, a former Georgia corrections officer, announced the find in early July on YouTube videos and a Web site.

“Everyone who has talked down to us is going to eat their words,” Whitton said at the time.

Phone calls to Whitton and Dyer went unreturned today.  Whitton’s police chief is reportedly in the process of firing him. 

Waskom, Texas (STNews) - Half-ape and half-human?  The DNA tests from the alleged remains of the mythical creature two men in Georgia say they have in a freezer don’t prove that.  

One of the two samples of DNA said to prove the existence of the Bigfoot came from a human and the other was 96 percent from an opossum.

Enter what scientists do believe to be the offspring corpse of Bigfoot, discovered by hunters breaking deer season laws in the piney woods of East Texas.  

The hunters are discounting their commercial interest in the discovery, saying while we await DNA results, we’re welcome to purchase Bigfoot offspring merchandise from their company.

The remains of the offspring are currently in a freezer at an undisclosed location.

Shreveport, Louisiana (STNews) - With the announcement late yesterday that Alison Krauss will not perform at the 2008 James Burton International Guitar Festival due to a family engagement, organizers were quick to fill the void with what many in music circles deem to be an even bigger draw.  ”We got lucky”, organizers said in unison.  “H&J have just returned from their Eurpopean tour and Hazel has sobered up, so we’re excited about their performance!”

The only paid performers, Hazel and Jimmy will join some 20 other well known musicians, who are donating their time, travel and talents for the cause.  The James Burton Foundation puts guitars into the hands of thousands of children, at no cost to the kids.  Hazel said, “We can’t go throwing around our talent for free.  Besides, I’m a kid, sort of…where’s my free guitar?”

Shreveport, LA (ST News)  Plastic Deer Season is right around the corner.  I found one of the seemingly easy-to-nab animals right in my own neighborhood.  I snapped the picture, made some noise and all I got was that deer-in-the-headlights look. 

The season for archery for Louisiana Area 2 begins October 1st. 

The possession limit for plastic deer is higher than it is for the ones God made.  Although the neighborhood breed is more affected by flooding (they’ve been known to float off), they reproduce at a rapid rate.   Hunters in the Broadmoor neighborhood have expressed frustration with the ineffectiveness of deer corn in luring the polymer deer to a specific spot, but seem to delight in the ease of preserving the heads of this breed for mounting. 

An added community benefit to hunting this type of deer is that, according to the mayor, the parts you don’t skin and clean for the dinner table can be tossed into your new blue recycling bin.