After I was patted down by security before a recent flight, I was in no mood to fight for space on the plane.  Just when I thought we were going to take off and no one would occupy the seat next to me, here he came.  And when Mr. I Have The Window Seat and Whatever Else I Can Get sat down, I had to move so far over, the snack cart clipped me everytime it went by.  I still have the bruises.     

I’ll be ready next time, Bro!  Brian Lam has come up with a crafty way to claim the armrest on a flight.  Click here to see it.  Could this work?  Or do you have some ideas of your own?  What about incessantly scratching and uttering something about that damn Ebola virus.      

My restaurant experience today prompted me to bring back the rant category.  What if, when you go to the counter to pick up your meal, you don’t want to be summoned by someone shouting everything you ordered in earshot of all the other patrons?  How about a name or a number?  I mean, what if I wanted to order something like lamb guts and sprouts and didn’t want to get cool glances?  I’m just sayin’. 

    

Flying somewhere this week?  Look!  You’re not alone.  There are ways to make travel special.  For more, go to www.theonion.com

Sunday morning coffee. Friends. Much talk of grocery store rage.  They talked me into getting this category started.  Here we go.   Oh, you know you’ve been there.  Bring it.