I passed on several social opportunities with friends to stay home tonight and enjoy some peace and quiet and get a vision for my furniture rearranging efforts. 

Not really.  I had nothing else to do.  

So, when reading about rearranging, I ran across a Feng Shui site.  WT!  I have relatives who live by this, but now, I’m afraid not to!  Should this be a part of the political platforms with which we’re presented?  Here.  Look!

“Whatever you do, make sure your feet don’t point out the door while in bed. In traditional Chinese culture, this is called the “Death Position” because the deceased are carried out feet first. Practitioners believe sleeping this way can drain your life force. If you can’t avoid it, use a footboard or a substantial trunk or other piece of furniture at the foot of your bed to act as a buffer (this is the one exception to feng shui’s normal “no footboard” rule). Finally, leave enough room around the bed for energy to flow freely, and for each partner to get up with ease. ”

Where does Sarah Palin position her bed?  If I’m in danger and I’m just a citizen, I want my potential government leaders to be well positioned to lead this country.  Can Sarah Palin see Russia from her bed, even if it’s in the wrong Feng Shui position?  C’mon, Charlie Gibson!  Ask the right questions. 

  

And how much did that study cost? Remember this study that came out this time last year…”European researchers find that children are smarter than chimpanzees.” 

I’d like to see similar research on the people who decide which studies to fund.

I have a new pet peeve.  It’s those notices that pop up when you get an email requesting that you notify the sender you received their email.  They’re ruining the thing we love about email…we get to answer when we have time.   They’re not supposed to know that we read their email, then chose not to answer or chose to wait to respond. 

We might as well go back to the phone before call waiting.   

Now, we’re being hit with requests to notify the sender as soon as we delete their email!  No.  Not doing that either.  You? 

That’s what happens to me at work when I’m writing and someone pages over the LOUDspeaker.  IT’S VERY LOUD!

I’ve learned, while I’m writing, to tune out talking, laughter, phones ringing, tapes playing in edit bays, people singing and yelling, scanners, monitors, cell phone conversations  and the general urgency of a newsroom. 

But the pages get me everytime.

Same thing in the grocery store.  One second, you’re calmly reading the ingredients on the lighter version of Gatorade.  The next,

“SHOPPERS, WE HAVE…!” 

@!~&%$$#*&$#!  AHHHHH!  HEART ATTACK ON AISLE 6! 

Why can’t we have a government study on the adverse health affects of being scared to death several times a day, instead of a study that shows smoking is bad for you or exercise makes you more fit.

I’m guilty of it.  You’re guilty of it.  But I’m more guilty of it because I’m way busier than you are! 

You know them well.  They’re the people who, at the slightest opportunity, complain about what they’ve been tasked to do in a one-upmanship way.   

They suck your aura.  And if you’re not careful, they suck you right in.

Here’s how it goes.  Worker 1:  ”Hi, Worker 2, how are you today?”  Worker 2: “I’d be fine if I didn’t have to (insert any task here).”  Worker 1:  “Well, I have to (insert more things to do than Worker 2 listed).”  Implied by both:  Don’t ask me to do another thing or I might explode and it’ll all be your fault!

The tone of their voice is much like that of Eeyore.  That is, until the busy one-upping builds in intensity and almost sounds like lively conversation.   

Neighbor 1:  “Hi, Neighbor 2.  Congratulations on your new job!”  Neighbor 2:  “Yeah, well. It’s going to mean a ton of work and I already have (insert anything here) to do.”  Neighbor 2:  “I know what you mean.  I have to (insert more things than Neighbor 1 has ever dreamed of doing).”  Neighbor 1:  “I have to do all those things at once!”   

How about Talley Talker suggestions on how to keep a busy off from ensuing.

TVNewsday AM reports that some newscasts around the country are using product placement as an added source of revenue.  Here’s how it’s being used at one station. 

Oh sure, you’ve seen the occasional Coke can in a movie shot or two.  But how do you feel about products placed on your local newscasts?  

I don’t have a problem with this, as long as the anchors and reporters near the products can hold on tight to their journalistic integrity. 

And–as long as the products aren’t FAKE and IGNORED!  C’mon! 

The anchors at the station above make no reference to the fake products.  I would find that EXTREMELY difficult!  C’mon!  If there’s a new product in front of you at your house, you’re going to at least acknowledge it.  You’re going to eat, drink, play with or explain it…something!   If not, it just seems so contrived!  If you’re going to put something weird on the set, don’t pretend like it’s not there!  How stupid do you think viewers are? 

  

   

I’m sharing this story with you so you don’t have to go through the horror I experienced.  Please, people, learn from my mistakes and have a fruitful life before it’s too late!

I was blogging when The Boyfriend brought his puppy, Blue, over.  Spuff was not amused. 

In all the cat-dog chaos, I set my laptop on top of a burning candle.  Not on purpose. 

The Boyfriend, a firefighter, asked what was burning.  I said, “I’m not cooking anything tonight that smells like toxic plastic.”  Then I noticed my laptop, rapidly melting around the flame of the candle.  

What now?  I’m sitting two feet away from a fireman and nothing’s sinking in by osmosis.  Do I stop, drop and roll?  Implement my escape plan?  Begin crawling on the ground to avoid the heat and smoke?  Do I get some baking soda? 

It’s sad that all these options had to run through my mind before I actually removed the computer from the flame. 

But hey, I’m not blaming myself.  I’m blaming the school system, my parents and our government for not having the foresight to drill laptop fire relevant phrases like, “Stop, drop and roll” into my memory bank.  I mean, what catchy phrase comes to mind as a course of action when you think of laptop blazes?  See!   The empty set!  Oh sure, Texas gives every child a laptop in the classroom.  But do they teach them what to do in case they burst out in flames?  No.  They don’t.    

It’s one thing for a kid’s laptop to combust in flames, but what if it were you?  You’d be forced to talk on the phone or actually meet with someone face-to-face!  OMG!

So, that’s why in addition to opening a discussion forum here on what we can do as a community, city, nation and world to end the senseless burning of computers, I’ve started a for-profit organization called, “My Laptop Is On Fire, So Now What Do I Do?”  Or MLIOFSNWDID? for short. 

Here’s how it works.  With my new internet upgrades since the fire, you can leave your suggestions for how to handle a laptop fire, including catchy phrases that can be taught in our schools, under comments.  As soon as your comment is posted, your bank account will be hit for the cause.

Do it.  It’s for the children.    

I have a friend who calls me for moral support everytime he goes to the grocery store.  Me:  “What’s going on now?”  Him:  “NO WAY this is happening!  A woman in front of me has a coupon for EVERY item!”

How about (even when there are employees nearby who can operate a register),  they MAKE you use the self checkout…and you have produce!  I’m not trained in the codes and scales and such! 

I know I’ve thrown this topic out there before, but something tells me it’s time to head back to the store. 

After I was patted down by security before a recent flight, I was in no mood to fight for space on the plane.  Just when I thought we were going to take off and no one would occupy the seat next to me, here he came.  And when Mr. I Have The Window Seat and Whatever Else I Can Get sat down, I had to move so far over, the snack cart clipped me everytime it went by.  I still have the bruises.     

I’ll be ready next time, Bro!  Brian Lam has come up with a crafty way to claim the armrest on a flight.  Click here to see it.  Could this work?  Or do you have some ideas of your own?  What about incessantly scratching and uttering something about that damn Ebola virus.      

My restaurant experience today prompted me to bring back the rant category.  What if, when you go to the counter to pick up your meal, you don’t want to be summoned by someone shouting everything you ordered in earshot of all the other patrons?  How about a name or a number?  I mean, what if I wanted to order something like lamb guts and sprouts and didn’t want to get cool glances?  I’m just sayin’.