“Everyone else around here thinks they’re a meteorologist.  Why can’t I be one?” –Sparky 05-02-08

“I need you to think about why I’m weird and get back to me on that.”  –Jody Lowery 05-02-08 

“I’d rather grate my tongue on a cheese grater than go to any social event!”  –Ron Thoma 05-03-08

Caller:  “You know what the J.D. in my name stands for, Shelly?”  Sherri:  “What?”  Caller:  “Just the Devil” –05-06-08

“Isn’t Shannon Royster about due?  What’s the gestation period for a Channel 12 anchor?”  –Sherri Talley 05-07-08

“I caught a glimpse of myself in the elevator mirror.  I don’t look like an overcooked biscuit.  I look like a bloated codfish wearing pants that don’t match.”  –LindsAy Atkins 04-23-08

“I want two things before I die.  I want to see the Cubbies in the World Series and I want to meet Gerry May.”  –Bill Marshall 04-23-08

“He won’t pixelate the pee pee.”  –Carline Procell 04-24-08

“HTML stands for He Told Me Lies.” –Sherri Talley 04-25-08 

“Don’t fall in the trap.  Directors are full of crap.”  –Chuck Carroll 04-18-08 

“I wish Fletch was my mom.”  –Trish Williford 04-30-08

“Gerry has a 9-year-old stalker.” –Clay Kirby 04-11-08

“We’re TV people impersonators.”  –Randy Bain to a waiter in Las Vegas 04-13-08

“I see why you never left Shreveport.”  –CNN’s Taylor Fuller to Sherri, upon seeing Hazel and Jimmy 04-13-08

“They were driving in Iraq and he was hit by an I.U.D.”  –Jim Roberts, explaining how a purple heart recipient got the distinction  04-14-08

“Reassurance is popular with the ladies.”  –J.J. Lewis 04-19-08

“Do you think more people will watch if I wear a big clock around my neck?”  –Sherri Talley 04-21-08

“Moonshine and pig’s feet.  Sounds like a stroke waiting to happen.”  –Stephanie Samuels 04-04-08

“I move on the average of pi.”  –Laura Seal 04-07-08

“There ain’t no job here that’s below nobody!”  –Sherri Talley 04-09-08

“Hey, what did I do?  I’m on time.  I’m all cheery.  I’m like, let’s blog!”  –Jody Lowery 04-10-08

“I’m getting high off that Sharpie.”  –Sherri Talley 04-10-08

“Trish, we’re going to be kind of tight, so skip every other word.”  –Clay Kirby 04-01-08

“Were any of these kids children?”  –Randy Bain 04-02-08

“My neighbor thinks my name is Wayne.”  –Steve Anderson 04-02-08

“When you have a body like mine, who needs a head?”  –Trish Williford 04-02-08

“I wish Fletch were my dad!”  –Sherri Talley 04-02-08

“Why did they leave cheap wine glasses and a hair trimmer  in my car when they stole it?”  –Clay Kirby  04-02-08

“There’s video of the woman on the toilet?”  –Gerry May  03-12-08

Ed: “Clay, have you ever been fired in Texas?”  Clay: ”No, why?”  Ed: ”I need to know the unemployment there.”  Clay: “Why don’t you call your mama and ask her!”  03-13-08

Trish:  “What are you lookin’ at me for?”  Sherri:  “I don’t have anything else to do!”  03-18-08

“Is it my imagination, or do I hear sawing in the breakroom?” –Sherri Talley 03-19-08 

“It’ll be hot enough tomorrow to melt the paint right off that cat.”  –Joe Haynes on air 03-25-08

“I get on my own nerves all the time!”  –Jody Lowery 03-26-08

“Just like there’s no crying in news, there are no ladies in news.” –Stephanie Samuels 03-27-08

“Man, if I fell into a grave, I think I would have a heart attack!”  –Clay Kirby  03-27-08
 

“I think I would look good as an Amish man.”  –Ed Walsh 02-29-08

“I’m actually starting to dream in html.”  –Sherri Talley 03-05-08

“As usual, another man who doesn’t pay attention to me.”  –Jody Lowery  03-10-08

“Tim just went to sleep at the switcher, so he’s guilty of sloth.  There will be a flogging after the show.”  –Stephanie Samuels 03-10-08

“I’ve got to go home and study for my L.E.A.P. test.”  –Michael Moore, photographer  03-10-08

“I never thought I would hear you say damnation on T.V.”  –Clay Kirby 03-10-08

“I’ve been in a jail cell.  And I wasn’t there to do a story.”  –Jim Roberts 01-09-08

“How come everytime something’s got to be cleaned up, you gotta talk to the black girl?”  –Stephanie Samuels 01-09-08

“Like Mike Powell, I’ve over-produced.”  –Fletch, upon realizing he wrote more than he had time for in his sportscast.  12-31-07

“I can’t keep a man or a dog.”  –Sherri Talley 12-28-07

“I’m inspired not to inspire.”  –Ed Walsh 01-25-08

“Lakesha is the only person who wears a hoodie who is not an armed robber.”  –Clay Kirby 01-25-08

“Hey, Fletch!  I saw where your daughter, Tracey, turned a year old at Chimp Haven today.”  –Sparky  01-03-08

“The young guy from the Supranos…I was washing his car.”  –Jim Roberts’ dream 01-18-08

Rob Brennan:  “I hate people.”  Jim Lee:  “WE’RE people.”  Rob:  “Friends of mine aren’t people.”  01-06-08

“Ha ha ha.  Snort.”  –Sherri Talley/Days that end with ‘y’

“I need to find me a Walton.” -Meg Green, producer 03-01-02

“I guarantee I can break into your house in less than 15 seconds.” -T-Bone 03-06-02

“I think George W. is cute in kind of a nerdy way.” -Meg Green 03-13-02

“Dad, you go and steal everyone’s jokes!” -Sydney Fletcher 11-26-03

“I’m really older than I am.” -LindsAy Holman 11-18-03

Jody Lowery: “LindsAy, why are you so moody?”  LindsAy:  “I don’t know.  I’m just all up in it.” 10-03-03

“It’ll be a wild weekend.  You know Ms. Blanco…she’s a party animal.” -Trey Lankford, photographer covering Blanco headquarters 10-02-03

“If we look at the monitors and see that Channel 12 or Channel 6 have breaking news and we don’t, we’re disappointed…we’re bummed out.” -A Spider Monkey Newsroom Tour 11-12-02

“Who do you have to get under the mistletoe with to get a cup of coffee around here?”  -Sherri Allen 12-25-07

“Since 9-11, the Air Force has also been tracking Santa.” -Joe Haynes 12-24-07

“You can see Santa here on the radar in San Antonio.  And that’s the last we’ve seen of him.” -Joe Haynes on air 12-24-07 

This is my cubicle at work where quotes are posted before they’re harvested.  Trenada is our tape operator extrodinaire and many  quotes come from her church.  One of my favorites:  “Music soothes the savage breast.”