A story in today’s news reminds me of when Hazel and Jimmy took a bullet for a Las Vegas lingerie model.

The Associated Press is reporting today that police say a wad of cash stuffed in a woman’s bra saved her life during a shootout in northeastern Brazil. 

58-year-old Ivonete Pereira de Oliveira was a passenger on the bus that two gunmen held up on Saturday.  An armed off-duty policeman on the bus reportedly opened fire. In the ensuing gunbattle, a bullet struck the left side of Oliveira’s chest.

Oliveira had about $70 worth of bills hidden inside her bra and that reportedly slowed the bullet enough to prevent it from entering her heart and killing her.

Want to have fun like these folks?  Wearing a st.com t-shirt featuring Hazel & Jimmy brings out the best in everyone!  Ha, sounds like I’m trying to sell them, when actually, I’m doing spring cleaning and need some space. 

You can join the ranks of the likes of The Toyota Guy, Salty The Dog, James Burton and many others featured in our T-Shirt Gallery simply by requesting a st.com t-shirt, putting it on and letting me take your picture (or take your own and send it in).  It’s fun.  It’s easy.  It’s free. 

Here’s how.  1) If you see me on the streets (I’ll be out covering Sunday’s forecasted tornadoes - not a good time), ask me for a t-shirt.  Or you can just email me at stalley@ktbs.com or message me on Facebook.  Indicate your size (S (limited no.), M, L (limited no.) or 2XL (for some reason, I have tons of these).  2)  If you’re in the area, please come by the station and pick up your t-shirt.  If you don’t live in Shreveport-Bossier City, give me your address and I’ll mail you one.  3)  Let me take your picture or you have one snapped and email it to me at stalley@ktbs.com.  4) Look for your pic on the t-shirt gallery.  5)  Add it to your resume for your next job search.  6)  Rethink no. 5.

Thanks for closing out another topic, Suzie!  You and John Smoltz are good at stuff like that. 

Okay, what do you want for Christmas? 

I can’t think of a thing, because I usually think only in terms of giving.  Is there no end to my goodness?  But, if I were forced to make a list, I might put on it a sewing kit for my ripped abs of steel.        

Hazel and Jimmy are getting new, laminated AARP cards and a box of Chuck Norris-autographed Huggies. 

Any ideas on what to get Hazel & Jimmy for Christmas?

New to sherritalley.com:  The T-Shirt Gallery. If you’ve won a Caption Free For All contest or otherwise gained access to a sherritalley.com t-shirt, spare us the details on how you got it.  Someone’s kids might be blogging here.  Just email a picture of you wearing the shirt to stalley@ktbs.com.  We’ll post it in the T-Shirt Gallery, which is listed under Pages in the right column. 

Click here to check out the gallery.

It’s not official.  We’re awaiting drug test results.  But Hazel and Jimmy have apparently each nabbed the gold in some yet-to-be-announced event.     

Rumor has it that Hazel got drunk, fell off the high dive and accidentally didn’t make much of a splash on her entry.  That vaulted the little trollop to the top of the rankings. 

I also heard from a solid source that Jimmy was tested for probable use of performance enhancing drugs (compensating for the blue dress).

Rumors are all I have to go on since the creepy babies’ cell phones were confiscated by the Chinese government.  Anyone know their events?     

Shreveport, Louisiana (STNews) - With the announcement late yesterday that Alison Krauss will not perform at the 2008 James Burton International Guitar Festival due to a family engagement, organizers were quick to fill the void with what many in music circles deem to be an even bigger draw.  ”We got lucky”, organizers said in unison.  “H&J have just returned from their Eurpopean tour and Hazel has sobered up, so we’re excited about their performance!”

The only paid performers, Hazel and Jimmy will join some 20 other well known musicians, who are donating their time, travel and talents for the cause.  The James Burton Foundation puts guitars into the hands of thousands of children, at no cost to the kids.  Hazel said, “We can’t go throwing around our talent for free.  Besides, I’m a kid, sort of…where’s my free guitar?”

Hazel and Jimmy in London, on their way to Switzerland.  Maybe Jimmy will buy something to wear other than that dress.

While they were there, they actually put on a tea tour for tourists.  I know, I, too, was stunned since only one hand between the two of them is apparent.  These two amaze me.  Here are some of the signatures from the guestbook. 

        Hazel and Jimmy, moments ago, in the Flagship Lounge at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport, on their way to Switzerland.

The good news:  H&J travel light and won’t have to pay those pesky new baggage check fees.  Heck, they wear the same thing every single day.   

The bad news:  Many airlines have started raising prices on what you eat and drink in the sky.  And Hazel likes a cocktail or two every couple of hours.  There goes the baggage savings.

My friend who is taking them overseas said Jimmy got detained and patted down by security, is taciturn, and she’s afraid of what he might say on the plane that might get his little cardboard behind tossed out over the ocean. 

I’m concerned that these creepy, elderly, disorderly babies could bring Switzerland out of its neutral state.