A Reptile Dysfunction
So, I’m on the phone when I suddenly see two lizards going at it. I feel like I’m invading their privacy and yet, I can’t look away.Â
Easily distracted, I struggle to end the phone conversation, “…um…it appears some lizards are doing it on the front porch…I’ll call you back…and um…if you need to know more about that, go to nationalgeographic.com.” Then, I go get my camera and take a picture of the intimate reptiles engaging in what appears to be very non cold-blooded behavior.Â
Sure, I wouldn’t have gotten this close to their cousin, Komodo Dragon, especially if he were gettin’ it on with a Gila Monster, but I would still look.  You?  Admit it, you clicked on the picture so you could get a closer look, didn’t you?Â
  Â
 Â
 Â
  Â
April 24th, 2008 at 11:08 am
OH MY GOD! I LOVE THAT YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love how it looks like the CUTE FEMALE lizard is trying to get away and not interested and the NASTY MALE lizard is hanging on. Typical.
I LOVE lizards. I used to have 12 of them when I was littlER that I would put in the bathtub (without water) and let them crawl on me. TMI?
P.S.-Who were you talking with on the phone?!
April 24th, 2008 at 11:08 am
P.S. (again) - Clever title, Talley.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:09 am
And yes, I took a closer look. Perv.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Perv LindsAy, I was on the phone with my son.
Okay, can’t get the bathtub ritual out of my mind!
When I was 4-years-old, I accidentally pulled the tail off a lizard. I still feel bad about that.
Well now, this is turning into quite the topic of lizard confessions, isn’t it?
April 24th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Those lizards were at my house last week. I have never seen the geiko’s going after it though.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I have an entire geiko city at night at my house
April 24th, 2008 at 11:26 am
There’s something a little too fleshy about those things that creeps me out.
April 24th, 2008 at 11:51 am
bow chicka wow wow
April 24th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
…..i know a lizard that was gettin it on like this and then he called the girl lizard the name of this frog that he once went out with …..well i never heard from him again.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
i come down from a 2 day glue high to read this crap?
seriously….think of the possibilities…..lizards got lil suction cup thingies on there feet so they can climb stuff easily. if people had that, the scenarios are endless….
circus sex without the worry of a fall.
fat chicks wont buck you off.
doin it on the ceiling so theres no chance of a “cold nose incident” from the dawg.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I think they’re just hugging.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Mel, that was the funniest comment of the week.
April 24th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I’m glad I don’t have children, because this thread is definitely NC-17.
April 24th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Lizards Gone Wild
April 24th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Heimlich Maneuver
April 24th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
http://www.imagegenerator.net/browse/magic8ball/date/89234/
April 24th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
You’re the anole one for me!
April 24th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
“Oh, honey! They’re playing our song!”
You’re my dream come true,
My one anole you!
April 24th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Lindsey: That’s gross!! Are you serious??
April 24th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Since we’re talking about lizard confessions I’ll share mine. When I was little me and my cousins were playing outside we were sitting at the pinic table and saw a lizard… we caught him and accidently pulled off his tail and he kept running. We couldn’t believe it!
I’m with you Sher.. that image still haunts me!!! I often wonder where he is today and if his poor tail ever grew back!?
April 24th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Greek lizards? I see he’s also got a neck biting fetish.
April 24th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I’d like to settle the guilt you ladies have about “pulling” the tails off the lizards.
It’s a defense mechanism. Most predators will grab the tail since it’s the easiest thing to grab. The tail will then come off and wiggle to distract the predator while the lizard makes a quick escape. It will grow a new tail within days.
April 24th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
LindsAy returns…..only to get her name misspelled.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Have you seen those new Geico commercials that says something about seeing the Gecko in its natural habitat…what if they used this picture in any of their new commercials? Would that be too much? I’m just saying…its all natural! ;p;
April 24th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Lizard Porn, now that’s something I’ve never seen! A nd yes I had to get a closer look, I even had my husband come look it at…lmao.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Lindsay,
How do we know they’re a male and female? Maybe they’re a couple of “lizbos.”
April 24th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Please! Pixelate the pee-pee!
April 24th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Who knew allowing my front porch to become a reptilian brothel would attract so many witty responses.
April 24th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
jchristie, thanks. I feel so much better.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Sherri - admit it. You were jealous.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
It looks like John McCain doin’ it with David Letterman. I feel like I just walked in on my grandparents gettin’ down.
Bad thing is, though, that they’re gonna wake up tomorrow, hung over, see this on the blog and feel like Paris Hilton on a typical Tuesday.
April 25th, 2008 at 4:42 am
maybe they are just huggin….. cuz its a crazy scary world out there, and their happy they have each other in their lives….yep i bet their huggin’
April 25th, 2008 at 6:25 am
I go off to fly yesterday and miss all the action… and then when I take a closer look (yes I Zoom’d IN), I find that is the one reptilian position I have been lacking to complete my book! I have been working on “Reptile Sutra” for years and have never been able to take or find a picture of the “classic green lizzard side spoon”! Sher, I know there are copy rights and things of that nature but I am sure we could work something out.
THEY ARE NOT HUGGING! But I am sure they will share a juicy fly and cuddle afterward.
April 25th, 2008 at 9:14 am
You are funny. I’m going out to pitch your blog today, how could anyone not want to advertise on it?! Thanks for giving us great content!
April 25th, 2008 at 9:45 am
In case you didn’t know, lizards do bite. When we were little one of the neighbor boys came to our door with a lizard attached to his finger crying. My Mom was terrified but still pulled it off his finger. They are dangerous!
April 25th, 2008 at 10:50 am
I love that position.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Mom mommy had a pet lizard. She would put a string around it’s neck and walk it down the street. True story.
And no, the apple does not fall far from the tree.
April 25th, 2008 at 10:54 am
MY mommy…not MOM MOMMY
April 25th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
That is weird.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Now Sherri can tell her man, “Oh baby do me like a lizard”
April 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
OK, I can’t let the turtle’s lizard entry be the last word on this topic.
Iguana.
April 26th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Maybe someone could rework the song muskrat love to lizard love.